is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
