You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
