Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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