Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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