what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
sarcasm needs its own font
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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