We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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