So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
