its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I still have a little drunk in my system
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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