He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
