If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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