why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
