Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
