I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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