my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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