Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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