Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I will be naked everywhere
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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