We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
