Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up

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  (586): I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up http://tfl.nu/t16c
  Replies (6) Good night (768) Bad night (701)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back

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  (617): but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back http://tfl.nu/ogq4
  Replies (30) Good night (925) Bad night (2252)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly

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  (970): Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly http://tfl.nu/eo7f
  Replies (71) Good night (560) Bad night (6732)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.

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  (203): Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast. http://tfl.nu/5wgc
  Replies (45) Good night (7453) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.

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  (231): We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result. http://tfl.nu/ddxt
  Replies (2) Good night (2242) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me

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  (218): i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me http://tfl.nu/gpjb
  Replies (19) Good night (1304) Bad night (5165)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays

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  (913): Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays http://tfl.nu/wo2m
  Replies (3) Good night (892) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.

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  (917): She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for. http://tfl.nu/k05b
  Replies (7) Good night (3599) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  You're a good friend.

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  (770): I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that. (1-770): You're a good friend. http://tfl.nu/ln0z
  Replies (2) Good night (1148) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background

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  (204): You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background http://tfl.nu/bshd
  Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.

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  (615): Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/pm20
  Replies (17) Good night (1903) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.

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  (701): I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control. http://tfl.nu/z8ao
  Replies (4) Good night (478) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.

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  (614): Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane. http://tfl.nu/2bgv
  Replies (6) Good night (1415) Bad night (203)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me

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  (317): Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me http://tfl.nu/2azp
  Replies (1) Good night (359) Bad night (175)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water

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  (805): I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water http://tfl.nu/4hod
  Replies (2) Good night (970) Bad night (250)

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