Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.