I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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