Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?

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  (202): Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything? http://tfl.nu/mm5c
  Replies (7) Good night (841) Bad night (873)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"

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  (610): my new favorite insult= "thundercunt" http://tfl.nu/7c82
  Replies (48) Good night (4181) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"

  (646): View more from New York

  how do you like your eggs?

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  over tits

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  (865): I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast" (646): how do you like your eggs? (865): over tits http://tfl.nu/9kyc
  Replies (27) Good night (4661) Bad night (649)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show

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  (515): pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show http://tfl.nu/p27u
  Replies (23) Good night (3925) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?

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  (732): I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break? http://tfl.nu/m0ae
  Replies (8) Good night (3932) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?

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  (770): If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way? http://tfl.nu/2yix
  Replies (7) Good night (4192) Bad night (1635)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.

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  (573): Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties. http://tfl.nu/z2k6
  Replies (8) Good night (2447) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.

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  (330): the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom. http://tfl.nu/2arl
  Replies (12) Good night (4972) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.

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  (518): I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how. http://tfl.nu/ue8l
  Replies (4) Good night (2254) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?

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  (484): Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain? http://tfl.nu/2na3
  Replies (11) Good night (1188) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.

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  (760): No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity. http://tfl.nu/loos
  Replies (1) Good night (448) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo

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  (703): The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo http://tfl.nu/r2ud
  Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.

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  (773): The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group. http://tfl.nu/wtka
  Replies (2) Good night (793) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….

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  (303): You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas…. http://tfl.nu/ehgv
  Replies (0) Good night (512) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.

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  (713): Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face. http://tfl.nu/94fq
  Replies (1) Good night (221) Bad night (433)

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