yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power