I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.