After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
