I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
