They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
