Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
