Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
