She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
