I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
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This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
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Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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