We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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