just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
