is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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