I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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