Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
