All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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