You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
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