Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
