just come out here and I will go home with you...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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