at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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