So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
