Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
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the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize