paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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