you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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