You're my little dorito
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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