I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
