I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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