We're facebook friends in real life
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
