dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
