Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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