i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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