Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
