dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
