ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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