Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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