I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
