I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
