Kareoke will never be a sober sport
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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