I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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