Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
