She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize