Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
