dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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