No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
