omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize