I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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