We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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