Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
