$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
