I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize
