hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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